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  • Writer's pictureBunmi

WAHM Life: Fantasy vs. Reality

I started working from home when my first daughter was born. I just couldn't see myself working in an office and leaving her. I'd wanted to be a mom my whole entire life- a stay-at-home mom.

My first real, paying business was selling ad space on a mommy website and it didn't pay much but I sure spent a LOT of time on it. I remember one day, when my almost-crawling baby was fussing in her playpen and I was sitting my computer wishing she'd give me just a few more minutes when I began to wonder if being a WAHM was worth it.

I was so incredibly stressed and putting so much time into something that wasn't making much money. I was starting to see my baby as a barrier to work and not enjoying the SAHM life like I'd wanted to but the bottom line was: we needed money.

Fast forward, a few years later, my business had grown. I now ran a small social media company managing the Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram accounts for big businesses. I would wake up early and plan & schedule posts, check them throughout the day, and before bed. I'd always be checking email- worried it would look like I was less responsible than a non-mom human being and again, found myself feeling like I was in bondage.

I felt like I was failing as a mom and a business owner. I couldn't be truly present for either.

It's only many years later that I've started to learn that success in being a work-at-home mom isn't about how many clients I have, how successful I appear, but in that it allows me to be the mom I want to be.

I want to sit and eat breakfast with my kids without my computer at the table. I want to feel peace in my heart and not get a stomachache over wondering if I'm doing enough or if my client will drop me if I don't answer an email in ten seconds. I want to go out with my kids all day without feeling like I'm slacking off.

For the woman who wants to be a work-at-home mom, figuring out what you're going to do is one step, but figuring out how you're going to do it while keeping in mind how you want to feel every day is an even bigger one.

There are many, many ways to make money. But if it steals your peace and runs you ragged to the point you're missing all the things you became a WAHM to be a part of, is it worth it? Sometimes. If it puts food on the table that wouldn't be there, it can be necessary. But it's not a long-term strategy. I'm writing this so that you can think about it.

There are a million ways to be a WAHM. I wish I'd known earlier that I could be intentional about choosing to be a peaceful one.

I'm looking forward to sharing all I've learned and other moms have learned on this website.

If you'd like to contribute, I'm paying moms to write pieces. Just use the Contact form.

love, Bunmi


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